From birth, children are wrapped in a soft and warm web of lies. Adults tell children stories in which the characters deceive each other. Often, parents who encounter situations, when their children frequently make up stories that are untrue, experience fear of losing their trusting and sincere relationship with their child.
Our reasoning, in turn, leads to three consequences:
Children inevitably start to lie at some point because they live in a world where this phenomenon is a part of people’s lives.
Overcoming this problem is the most important factor in the personal growth of both the child and their parents. It contributes to strengthening the family. Therefore, facing children’s lies is not a tragedy, but a task, the resolution of which leads to development and psychological growth for the entire family.
Children’s deception and lies disappear when trusting relationships are reestablished between parents and children.
What are the main reasons for lying?
Fear of punishment: If a child knows that they need to apologize and clean up the broken cup, there will be little need for lying.
Numerous prohibitions: If a child knows they can play with buttons in the presence of their mom and eat a pastry after lunch, the need for lying will vanish.
The desire to seem better: This reflects the child’s dissatisfaction with their position. It is important to praise the child for their achievements, show interest, support, and warmth.
Self-justification (“He/she started it!”): This type of a lie is aimed at boosting the child’s self-esteem. Let them feel that you love them, even if they “started it.” Discuss the situation with them.
If you see that your child’s lies are a manifestation of their imagination, suggest to them to start writing a book of stories tales or making drawings, comics, or anything else related to their fantasies. Imagination is a child’s friend from an early age. In their imaginary worlds, wonderful little gnomes live under the chair, kids fly on magical carpets, and they possess enchanted wands. They dance with fairies and save the world from the evil. You can rejoice that your child has a vivid imagination. Don’t be alarmed if your child has told a lie. Everything can be resolved; the key is to approach it with tenderness and understanding of your child, who has come into this world to explore it.